So, lets talk about the UNCW Seahawks. How do you lose to UNC Greensboro and Coastal Carolina, but beat ECU at ECU in between? Now I know ECU just lost to Lee University...which isn't even Division I. Losing to a non Division-I program would be very very hard to stomach for me, but losing at Coastal and getting beat bad by UNCG at home is close. ECU won AT George Mason and beat 9-3 NC State this year in Greenville, so I mean, they must be kinda good right? I really don't like basketball games over winter break. For a bigger program its okay; today I went to the UNC-Valpo game in Chapel Hill and the place was packed. But I am convinced that winter break had a lot to do with this loss for the Seahawks. Its losses like that that really kills any kind of Tournament chances. I mean, CAA play is all that really matters, but we don't have a PG, and our defense is just bad. The ECU win gave us a little bit of RPI help, and playing at Indiana helps, but this can just reverse any progress those early season games had. We need better PG play. We also need T.J. to step up and play like he was playing in late November. I'll have more on them on Wednesday after the Drexel game. 9-5 with a 2-0 conference record is a lot better than 8-6 and 1-1.
So Week 17 was today. The Panthers won! Matt Moore is just the shit. He makes Tony Como look like Ryan Leaf or some shit. Tony Tomo was terrible today. Was Jessica Scrimpson there again? I think I know why Tony Jomo plays bad when J-Scrim is there. I'm about 86% sure that she spends the majority of the game in Flomo's earpiece asking him what is going on and "why #81 keeps doing weird things after he catches the ball."
The Titans made the playoffs, the Browns didn't
I went to the Wake Forest-Air Force game and the UNC-Valpo game today, but I don't want to talk about them right now. UNC gets EVERY call in the world. I used to love them, but I can still admit it. I went as a Valpo fan because they got me courtside tickets. A Valpo guy got his tooth knocked out and still had the foul called on him. Ridiculous.
I'll talk more tomorrow.
I greatly enjoyed both of those.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Meineke Car Care Bowl and George Foreman
So, it is 9:30 on Saturday, January 29th. I attended the Meineke Car Care Bowl today in Charlotte, NC. George Foreman was there. Very inebriated 18 year old girls were also there. If you only watched the 2nd half of the game you wouldn't realize that the UConn football team was there too. Bank of America Stadium sells $7.50 nachos that are actually worth $7.50, and its not as exciting as you think it would be. Would you rather pay $6.00 for nachos that are worth $3.00 and be able to eat them, or get all kinds of nachos with all kinds of stuff for $7.50 and try and eat them all by yourself. I thought I knew the answer to that question.
My favorite Wake Forest player ever is Willie Idlette. His last game ever he had 2 rushes for -27 yards and 6 catches for 91 yards. I liked him because he was very fast, and I liked his last name. Idlette. Idlette. There are a lot of vertical letters in that name. However, after watching Kenny Moore today I was swayed a little bit. Idlette is still my fave, but Moore is pretty awesome. He had 11 catches for 112 yards. Sweet. Wake LOVES the screen pass. But here's the thing about that, I DO TO! Kenny was the target for a lot of screens, which made me like him more. But I still like Idlette more...we'll see what happens with the NFL and Kenny, I could be swayed.
Here's my thoughts and emotions throughout the day:
10:45 am - I'm in Charlotte. I was born here. There are a lot of people here. I want a beer.
10:47 am - I'm a lot more comfortable now with my Killian's
10:52 am - RED BULL CART!
10:56 am - A girl offers me a free Coke Zero. I take it. I have 3 beverages now.
11:00 am - I finish my Killian's.
11:02 am - I finish my Red Bull.
11:10 am - Free Coozies! I take 2.
11:20 am - I finish my Coke Zero.
11:25 am - I grab another Killian's and a Michelob Light.
11:35 am - I'm standing in the Port-a-John line with my buddy Martin. There is a guy who graduated from Wake in like 1957. He finds out I don't go to Wake. He says about 4 words to me and continues talking to Martin. Sooo, that went well for me. I wonder if he knew Bones McKinney. He tells Martin to buy a Pork Chop sandwich if he goes to Mayberry.
11:45 am -I finish the Michelob, thats the end of the beer.
12:10 pm - A lot of people want me to buy their shit. I don't want to. Its the Meineke Car Care bowl...I think people will believe me when I tell them I went, I don't need a T-Shirt, or keychain, I already have a Coozie.
12:30 pm - Making our way into the stadium...I have to pee...a lot. Martin leaves to go to the press box. It is now just me and his parents. His dad is trying to sell a few tickets, no one wants to sit in the end zone section. I'm not sure why not.
12:40 pm - Tickets sold, entering the stadium. We can't take our backpack in...
12:43 pm - Backpack is crushed and brought in in Martin's father's pants.
12:50 pm - The bathroom looks like a swamp. Its cool though. After I make it to my seat they bring in the Deacs. Shit gets crazy. Everyone loves them. THERES KENNY MOORE! Willie Idlette is here in spirit...and he may actually be here.
12:53 pm - George Foreman flips the coin. The Deacons are kicking off. I don't know how I feel about George Foreman. Sometimes I like him. Other times I feel like he was abducted by robot aliens in like 1994 and they hollowed him out and filled him with robot parts. Like Will Smith's arm in I, Robot, except his whole body. Didn't he used to be like menacing and shit? He beat Joe Frazier, but now all he does is sell Mufflers and Grills. I am SO glad I am at the game instead of watching it on TV. They show about 15 Meineke commercials per commercial break and each one has George Foreman's stupid ass smile. He makes me want to marry Dane Cook's Actober commercials. Also, he looks like Charlie Villanueva's dad.
1:03 pm - KICKOFF. Return goes to the 22. I thought this was the norm. I find out that in this game, it is not.
1:09 pm - Three and out, nice job Wake, UConn does not look good, obviously.
1:15pm - RILEY SKINNER JACKS IT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP its dropped. In the endzoooone. Four drunk freshmen girls enter the game and sit in the row behind me. They're kind of cute. One is blonde and has her boobs relatively out, so thats kind of cool. I spend the next 15 minutes trying to decide if a threesome is in the cards.
1:20pm - Another three and out for UConn. I actually may need to buy some shit to prove to people that the game actually happened.
1:25pm - Superman Alphonso Smith catches a 12 yard completion. He's a CB. I find out later that his coaches told him that if he made 1st Team All-ACC they would draw up some offensive plays for him. He did, and they did. It'd be nice if my professors told me that if I make Dean's List they'll buy me an XBox 360 or hooker or something. No dice though.
1:29pm - Another punt. I wish my last name was Swank.
1:34pm - UConn first down! Whoever Ellis Gaulden is, he made a 1st down reception. Somewhere, Dan Orlovsky is drunk.
1:40pm - Tyler Lorenzen throws it to nobody. Dan Orlovsky vomits, but he's not sure if its from the game or from the booze. The old guy from the Porta-John line applies some Old Spice. This is boring.
1:43pm - SOMEONE DO SOMETHING. Now its Wake's turn for the 3 and outs...thats two in a row.
1:46pm - what the fuck just happened. Swank punts it, Larry Taylor drops it, I laugh, Larry Taylor picks up the ball and runs down the sideline like a fucking midget superfriend for the TD. I am stupefied. I feel like the guy who guarded Jason McElrain.
1:50 pm - Wake seems to be piecing together a decent driv
e here. End 1st.
1:55 pm - Beginning of the 2nd quarter, incomplete pass, end drive.
1:56 pm -Larry Taylor fair catches it. Thank God.
2:05 pm - Tyler Lorenzen is completing some passes. UConn's running back has dreadlocks...but the tips are blonde?
2:09 pm - After a few first downs, Tyler Lorenzen remembers that he's not Dan Orlovsky, who by now is passed out or dead, and gets sacked 'n shit. Desi Cullen punts the ball. DESI CULLEN! Why do all punters have weird names?
2:14 pm - Riley Skinner is so cool. He's approaching babe status. He just ran all around the backfield before finally hitting Zac Selmon for a 20 yard 1st down completion.
2:18 pm - Annnnnd Riley is intercepted. Its cool though, he's still an almost babe.
2:19 pm - DONALD BROWN! He just ran up his linemen's asses...then chilled, then ran 58 yards. How the shit did that happen? That was bizarre. This leads to a a field goal by.........Tony Ciaravino. Is this some kind of joke? Do you think Desi Cullen and Tony Ciaravino were born to use their feet to do shit? If my name was like Frances would I be a professional kicker?
2:35 pm - After a couple 3 and outs the half is over. The drunk girls leave. Turns out for good...turns out the threesome is NOT in the cards. Thats too bad.
2:45 pm - After using the bathroom again I buy a Red Bull and some nachos. I get a plastic Red Bull cup. That is so cool. I am FOR SURE drinking 100% of my beers from this cup. The nachos are absurd. They give me a tray for them. I am later thankful.
2:55 pm - The 2nd half starts. I am not even close to making a dent in these nachos. I wish Dan Orlovsky was here. The Deacons are now driving towards me.
3:05 pm - DEACONS TOUCHDOWN! Riley Skinner did some sweet shit and then RB Josh Adams broke a 38 yard run for the TD. It took me about 15 seconds to remove the nacho tray from my lap and place it on the ground. It weighs about 10 pounds. I don't want any more.
3:07 pm - I throw away my nachos. I got way more than I bargained for. The Huskies go three and out. I'm beginning to forget that they are playing again.
3:12 pm - The Deacs are driving again. This is starting to look one-sided. This has to be the most one-sided a game has looked in favor of the team that is actually LOSING.
3:13 pm - Josh Adams just fumbled at the 4 yard line. I had already signaled touchdown. I feel sttuuuuuuupid.
3:17 pm - The WF defense is on ecstacy.
3:24 pm - Riley Skinner is to babe status 100% now. He just threw a beautiful
ball over the left shoulder of TE John Tereshinski for a TD. Riley Skinner is such a quarterback name too. You got Tom Brady, Jake Plummer, Steve Young...Riley Skinner fits perfectly in there namewise. Tyler Lorenzen is not. Is he Jared Lorenzen's brother or some shit. He was FAT! Look at that guy. Tyler is not as fat, but he looks pretty poor today.
3:33 pm - The 4th quarter begins with a 4th down stand by the Deacons. I love when teams go for it on 4th down. Basically, each team puts their collective dick on the table and whichever team's makes the louder thump, that team wins.
3:45 pm - Micah Andrews is in for the Deacons now. Thats good to see, he's a senior and has been around for a bit, but was injured during their awesome run last year. I don't like UConn. I'm glad they're blowing it. Sam Swank field goal. 17-10 Deacs.
3:53 pm - Tyler Lorenzen just ran and ran and ran. He's not very fast, so its a bit frustrating. Boo Robinson broke up a pass. He is large...and is having a great game. And his name is BOO! Did his parents actually name him Boo. Like Boo Radley? I'd like to start going by Boo. This is a great example. There is no way in hell Boo Robinson would EVER be kicker or punter. 0% chance. It would be a world changing event for a guy named "Boo" to be a kicker or punter. UConn goes for it on 4th again. Again Wake makes the louder thump. Too bad.
4:15 pm - Wake and UConn both have uneventful drives, with the exception of blonde dreadlock man rushing for a 5 yard loss. I'm getting bored again. Riley is throwing the ball all over the place!
4:25 pm - Micah Andrews is going crazy! This is sweet! All game Wake has tried to run the ball, and with the exception of a couple plays, it hasn't worked. Now everyone in the state of North Carolina knows that Wake is going to run, and Micah is plowing through people.
4:28 pm - DEACS TOUCHDOWN! Micah runs down and salutes the fans or something. He keeps putting his fist in the air. Its not very touching, but I am still somewhat touched. Its like watching Pearl Harbor.
4:35 pm - This is by far the best part of the game. UConn put in a different QB who isn't related to a fat dude and he is just JACKING IT UP! Its amazing. I am amazed. The Wake players somehow don't intercept it. This guy is HURLING it down the field. There is no reason for this. The last pass of the day is caught by some dude on the sideline who looks really happy to catch it. Game Over.
After the game George comes back out and does the robot. Kenny Moore wins the MVP. He broke the ACC record help by Torry Holt for receptions in a season. He had 98.
In other news, the Seahawks lost to....UNC Greensboro. What the Fuck? Why? I hate them.
Thats all I want to talk about right now.
I'll talk more about college basketball tomorrow.
The Patriots won...so that sucks.
Josh Beckett is still gay.
-Sam
My favorite Wake Forest player ever is Willie Idlette. His last game ever he had 2 rushes for -27 yards and 6 catches for 91 yards. I liked him because he was very fast, and I liked his last name. Idlette. Idlette. There are a lot of vertical letters in that name. However, after watching Kenny Moore today I was swayed a little bit. Idlette is still my fave, but Moore is pretty awesome. He had 11 catches for 112 yards. Sweet. Wake LOVES the screen pass. But here's the thing about that, I DO TO! Kenny was the target for a lot of screens, which made me like him more. But I still like Idlette more...we'll see what happens with the NFL and Kenny, I could be swayed.
Here's my thoughts and emotions throughout the day:
10:45 am - I'm in Charlotte. I was born here. There are a lot of people here. I want a beer.
10:47 am - I'm a lot more comfortable now with my Killian's
10:52 am - RED BULL CART!
10:56 am - A girl offers me a free Coke Zero. I take it. I have 3 beverages now.
11:00 am - I finish my Killian's.
11:02 am - I finish my Red Bull.
11:10 am - Free Coozies! I take 2.
11:20 am - I finish my Coke Zero.
11:25 am - I grab another Killian's and a Michelob Light.
11:35 am - I'm standing in the Port-a-John line with my buddy Martin. There is a guy who graduated from Wake in like 1957. He finds out I don't go to Wake. He says about 4 words to me and continues talking to Martin. Sooo, that went well for me. I wonder if he knew Bones McKinney. He tells Martin to buy a Pork Chop sandwich if he goes to Mayberry.
11:45 am -I finish the Michelob, thats the end of the beer.
12:10 pm - A lot of people want me to buy their shit. I don't want to. Its the Meineke Car Care bowl...I think people will believe me when I tell them I went, I don't need a T-Shirt, or keychain, I already have a Coozie.
12:30 pm - Making our way into the stadium...I have to pee...a lot. Martin leaves to go to the press box. It is now just me and his parents. His dad is trying to sell a few tickets, no one wants to sit in the end zone section. I'm not sure why not.
12:40 pm - Tickets sold, entering the stadium. We can't take our backpack in...
12:43 pm - Backpack is crushed and brought in in Martin's father's pants.
12:50 pm - The bathroom looks like a swamp. Its cool though. After I make it to my seat they bring in the Deacs. Shit gets crazy. Everyone loves them. THERES KENNY MOORE! Willie Idlette is here in spirit...and he may actually be here.
12:53 pm - George Foreman flips the coin. The Deacons are kicking off. I don't know how I feel about George Foreman. Sometimes I like him. Other times I feel like he was abducted by robot aliens in like 1994 and they hollowed him out and filled him with robot parts. Like Will Smith's arm in I, Robot, except his whole body. Didn't he used to be like menacing and shit? He beat Joe Frazier, but now all he does is sell Mufflers and Grills. I am SO glad I am at the game instead of watching it on TV. They show about 15 Meineke commercials per commercial break and each one has George Foreman's stupid ass smile. He makes me want to marry Dane Cook's Actober commercials. Also, he looks like Charlie Villanueva's dad.
1:03 pm - KICKOFF. Return goes to the 22. I thought this was the norm. I find out that in this game, it is not.
1:09 pm - Three and out, nice job Wake, UConn does not look good, obviously.
1:15pm - RILEY SKINNER JACKS IT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP its dropped. In the endzoooone. Four drunk freshmen girls enter the game and sit in the row behind me. They're kind of cute. One is blonde and has her boobs relatively out, so thats kind of cool. I spend the next 15 minutes trying to decide if a threesome is in the cards.
1:20pm - Another three and out for UConn. I actually may need to buy some shit to prove to people that the game actually happened.
1:25pm - Superman Alphonso Smith catches a 12 yard completion. He's a CB. I find out later that his coaches told him that if he made 1st Team All-ACC they would draw up some offensive plays for him. He did, and they did. It'd be nice if my professors told me that if I make Dean's List they'll buy me an XBox 360 or hooker or something. No dice though.
1:29pm - Another punt. I wish my last name was Swank.
1:34pm - UConn first down! Whoever Ellis Gaulden is, he made a 1st down reception. Somewhere, Dan Orlovsky is drunk.
1:40pm - Tyler Lorenzen throws it to nobody. Dan Orlovsky vomits, but he's not sure if its from the game or from the booze. The old guy from the Porta-John line applies some Old Spice. This is boring.
1:43pm - SOMEONE DO SOMETHING. Now its Wake's turn for the 3 and outs...thats two in a row.
1:46pm - what the fuck just happened. Swank punts it, Larry Taylor drops it, I laugh, Larry Taylor picks up the ball and runs down the sideline like a fucking midget superfriend for the TD. I am stupefied. I feel like the guy who guarded Jason McElrain.
1:50 pm - Wake seems to be piecing together a decent driv
e here. End 1st.1:55 pm - Beginning of the 2nd quarter, incomplete pass, end drive.
1:56 pm -Larry Taylor fair catches it. Thank God.
2:05 pm - Tyler Lorenzen is completing some passes. UConn's running back has dreadlocks...but the tips are blonde?
2:09 pm - After a few first downs, Tyler Lorenzen remembers that he's not Dan Orlovsky, who by now is passed out or dead, and gets sacked 'n shit. Desi Cullen punts the ball. DESI CULLEN! Why do all punters have weird names?
2:14 pm - Riley Skinner is so cool. He's approaching babe status. He just ran all around the backfield before finally hitting Zac Selmon for a 20 yard 1st down completion.
2:18 pm - Annnnnd Riley is intercepted. Its cool though, he's still an almost babe.
2:19 pm - DONALD BROWN! He just ran up his linemen's asses...then chilled, then ran 58 yards. How the shit did that happen? That was bizarre. This leads to a a field goal by.........Tony Ciaravino. Is this some kind of joke? Do you think Desi Cullen and Tony Ciaravino were born to use their feet to do shit? If my name was like Frances would I be a professional kicker?
2:35 pm - After a couple 3 and outs the half is over. The drunk girls leave. Turns out for good...turns out the threesome is NOT in the cards. Thats too bad.
2:45 pm - After using the bathroom again I buy a Red Bull and some nachos. I get a plastic Red Bull cup. That is so cool. I am FOR SURE drinking 100% of my beers from this cup. The nachos are absurd. They give me a tray for them. I am later thankful.
2:55 pm - The 2nd half starts. I am not even close to making a dent in these nachos. I wish Dan Orlovsky was here. The Deacons are now driving towards me.
3:05 pm - DEACONS TOUCHDOWN! Riley Skinner did some sweet shit and then RB Josh Adams broke a 38 yard run for the TD. It took me about 15 seconds to remove the nacho tray from my lap and place it on the ground. It weighs about 10 pounds. I don't want any more.
3:07 pm - I throw away my nachos. I got way more than I bargained for. The Huskies go three and out. I'm beginning to forget that they are playing again.
3:12 pm - The Deacs are driving again. This is starting to look one-sided. This has to be the most one-sided a game has looked in favor of the team that is actually LOSING.
3:13 pm - Josh Adams just fumbled at the 4 yard line. I had already signaled touchdown. I feel sttuuuuuuupid.
3:17 pm - The WF defense is on ecstacy.
3:24 pm - Riley Skinner is to babe status 100% now. He just threw a beautiful
ball over the left shoulder of TE John Tereshinski for a TD. Riley Skinner is such a quarterback name too. You got Tom Brady, Jake Plummer, Steve Young...Riley Skinner fits perfectly in there namewise. Tyler Lorenzen is not. Is he Jared Lorenzen's brother or some shit. He was FAT! Look at that guy. Tyler is not as fat, but he looks pretty poor today.3:33 pm - The 4th quarter begins with a 4th down stand by the Deacons. I love when teams go for it on 4th down. Basically, each team puts their collective dick on the table and whichever team's makes the louder thump, that team wins.
3:45 pm - Micah Andrews is in for the Deacons now. Thats good to see, he's a senior and has been around for a bit, but was injured during their awesome run last year. I don't like UConn. I'm glad they're blowing it. Sam Swank field goal. 17-10 Deacs.
3:53 pm - Tyler Lorenzen just ran and ran and ran. He's not very fast, so its a bit frustrating. Boo Robinson broke up a pass. He is large...and is having a great game. And his name is BOO! Did his parents actually name him Boo. Like Boo Radley? I'd like to start going by Boo. This is a great example. There is no way in hell Boo Robinson would EVER be kicker or punter. 0% chance. It would be a world changing event for a guy named "Boo" to be a kicker or punter. UConn goes for it on 4th again. Again Wake makes the louder thump. Too bad.
4:15 pm - Wake and UConn both have uneventful drives, with the exception of blonde dreadlock man rushing for a 5 yard loss. I'm getting bored again. Riley is throwing the ball all over the place!
4:25 pm - Micah Andrews is going crazy! This is sweet! All game Wake has tried to run the ball, and with the exception of a couple plays, it hasn't worked. Now everyone in the state of North Carolina knows that Wake is going to run, and Micah is plowing through people.
4:28 pm - DEACS TOUCHDOWN! Micah runs down and salutes the fans or something. He keeps putting his fist in the air. Its not very touching, but I am still somewhat touched. Its like watching Pearl Harbor.
4:35 pm - This is by far the best part of the game. UConn put in a different QB who isn't related to a fat dude and he is just JACKING IT UP! Its amazing. I am amazed. The Wake players somehow don't intercept it. This guy is HURLING it down the field. There is no reason for this. The last pass of the day is caught by some dude on the sideline who looks really happy to catch it. Game Over.
After the game George comes back out and does the robot. Kenny Moore wins the MVP. He broke the ACC record help by Torry Holt for receptions in a season. He had 98.
In other news, the Seahawks lost to....UNC Greensboro. What the Fuck? Why? I hate them.
Thats all I want to talk about right now.
I'll talk more about college basketball tomorrow.
The Patriots won...so that sucks.
Josh Beckett is still gay.
-Sam
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